I don't know if it was a good idea......

Part 1

I had my 4 month oncology appointment this morning.  Kinda funny....Dr. L. asks me "So what do you think of Anglelina Jolie?"  I'm such a visual person.  The moment he asked me that what passed through my mind was her in a scene from a movie, I think it was "SALT".  I thought, I wonder what her boobs look like now. 

BUT thats not what this post is about.  There is a Panera Bread just across the street from the medical building.  I exit the parking structure and head to Panera.  I figure I'll pick up something to have for lunch later at work.  I see a homless guy wearing a tourqouise t shirt walking on the sidewalk.  Of course my mind wanders and I think of Kelly Thomas (I am in the city of Fullerton after all).  I thought of how those cops beat him to death.  And thought of how the human body is so resilent and how much damage human beings would have to inflict on a human body to actually beat it to death.  I wondered what Dr. L thought of that.  With the miracle of current medical science they could not repair Kelly Thomas.  And what was going through those cops mind's at the time....and what goes through their minds now?

I park my car, go into Panera and immediately see a braided pecan pastry thing and oh how I want one of those.  But I'm here to get lunch for later today.  For my side I choose an Asiago cheese bagel.  It's like a two fer, I can make a chicken sandwich for dinner tonight.


Just as I finish placing my order the homeless guy in the tourqouise t-shirt is standing next to me.  He's looking at the bread and says "That bread sure looks good".  I ask him if he wants something.  He looks at the dollars in my hand.  He almost reaches out for them, but doesn't.  Instead he says I'd like a couple of dollars to buy some of it.  I told him I wouldn't give him any dollars, but I'd buy him something to eat if he'd like.  He said he wanted bread.  I offered him the asiago cheese bagel.  He said he wanted breakfast....eggs.  On the register in front of us there is a picture of a breakfast sandwich with chibatta bread, egg, bacon, and cheese.  I asked if he would like that sandwich.  He said oh no, cause everything would touch the bread.

Ok.

 I ask the kid behind the counter if we could get a scrambled egg.  Kid never looks at the guy, he tells me they don't make scrambled eggs, but can give us a cooked egg.  I ask homey if that's ok, he seemed hesitant.  I told him it would be like an egg from Mc Donalds.  That was ok with him, he said he wanted egg and cheese..  Then Homey says he wants bread.  He looks at the bagles.  He says the asiago cheese bagel looked good.  So I told him he could have mine.  But it's not warm he says.  I ask the kid to slice it and toast it for us.  Homey is a little intrigued by the process.  He says ah, see he's cutting it.  Then the kid puts it in the toasting machine and Homey says, oh no, what's he doing with it?  I told him he was warming it for him.  Homey seems a little nervous about what's happening with the bagel.

I ask Homey if he would like something to drink.  He says water.  The kid tells him they have water in back, this time the kid actually looks at Homey (I think he's warming up to him).  Homey prefers a bottle of water.  Then he also wants a bottle of orange juice.  I tell the kid to ring it up (if we stand here much longer Homey is gonna pick more items!).  I put my cash away and pull out my debit card and smile at the kid. 

They are calling my name down the counter....the food is ready.  Homey is a little overwhelmed by the whole thing.  I'm starting to wonder if this was such a good idea.....

Thank you for Praying for me..... Or....... Happy Thursday to you too.

On my way to work this morning I stopped at the ATM to deposit a couple of checks, and grab a little mad money.  Parked my car, and as I was walking up to the ATM, one of those big vans pulled up next to the curb, you know the kind like you can go camping in, a little longer and taller than the normal van, they usually have strips going along the sides, and the spare tire is attached to the rear door.  This particular van was a little dirty, and an older model.  The first thought that flashed through my mind was "come on, you can't just pull up to the curb....park in the lot like the rest of us....what are you trying to do?  beat me to the ATM"? 

I arrive at the cash machine first, the machine to my right is already being used by another woman.  I start my deposit.  The man from the van has gotten in line behind me.  He is standing too close for comfort.  He is invading my "ATM Personal Space".  Everyone knows that there is an invisible barrier of at least 5 feet (personally I am more comfortable with 8-10') around the person using the ATM, sheesh.  I do the little glance back thing, which is universal for "Back off Asshole, you are standing too close".  He doesn't move.  I then look at the woman to my right, and see that the woman from the van is standing behind her.  Also too close.  I think to myself "are they Asian?", because I've discovered Asians do not have the same personal space needs as I do, and I'm learning to accept that.  Nope, they are Caucasian. 

The man then goes back to the passenger side of the van and starts talking to himself.  Appears the woman has left the passenger door open.  I feel a little better because I now have the adequate ATM space I deserve.  He closes the door and comes back complaining about how she can't even close a door (I hear the words helpless, lazy and idiot). Of course he again stands too close to me. 

The woman to my right finishes her business and leaves, and the woman from the van takes her place, but before she touches the machine she asks the man if he wants to use it.  He mumbles something....must have been no.  She starts her transaction.  And here is how their conversation proceeds:

Him:  I have to sign that check (said with venom, sarcasm, and pure hate)
Her:  I already did, I signed your name (said much the same)
Him:  Pft, it's not made out to you it's made out to me.
Her:  Pft, it's going in my account.
Him:  mumbling and complaining.

Wow, I can't believe they are talking to each other like this.

Her:  Do you want me to get cash out?
Him:  Does it tell you the balance?
Her:  Yes it does, if you ask it. Well it will print it on the receipt if you get one.
Him:  Well of course it will print a receipt, any idiot knows that, you are a stupid idiot if you think it won't print a receipt.

He continues to mumble and name call.

I have managed to keep my mouth shut.  I know I should stay out of it.  It is none of my business. 

My cash finally spews from the machine, I pull my receipt out of the jaws of the ATM, and as I leave the machine,  I say one word "Unbelievable".  And walk away.  He says "Lady, I hope you go to Hell".  She says, "Jack be quite".  He goes on to say "Who do you think you are?  You are a Bitch",  I think to myself, shit, this guy really is a freak.  I shouldn't have said anything, what if he's violent.  As I open my car door he shouts to me, "You don't know anything, mind your own business".  I get in the car, lock the doors, look back, he is now using the ATM I vacated.  Whew! 

Now safe in the car, I scan the parking lot, decide instead of waiting for the light and making the left hand turn to go west towards work, I will turn right so I can make a quick exit.  I roll down my window, make a u turn, and drive past them.  I shout to the woman "Lady, you need to leave that guy.  You don't need to take that.  Do yourself a favor!" He turns from the ATM and says "You are Satan!  I will pray for you".

And there you have it.  Called a Bitch, told to go to hell, told I'm Satan himself, and that I will be prayed for....all before I even get to work.

Unbelievable.

This IS Bizarro World!

This morning I posted on Facebook (I rarely ever do....I mean really, it just seems so narcissistic....much like this blog may appear to some), anyway, I decided to share on FB today because of the unusual experience.

I had an 8:10am appointment at the DMV.  The appointment wasn't for myself....it was a work thing.  Had to change the registration on one of our trucks.  When we purchased it in 1995 the dealer registered it as a "CB" (Cab) instead of a "ST" (Stake Bed).  All has been fine for the 17 years since.  Until last month.  CHP pulled over our driver at a weight station in San Onofre and "inspected" the vehicle.  Gave a list of items that needed to be corrected.  Must have been a slow day in San Onofre, sheesh.

Every issue has been corrected.  Last on the list, change the registration.  So I send someone to the DMV Tuesday to have the truck inspected.  Afterwards they ask him for the title.  Of course I sent all the original paperwork with him....except for the title.  I make another appointment with DMV and figure I'll just go in on my way to work. 

So here's the FB post:

---As I was leaving this morning I tell Denny "guess where I get to go the morning...".  He never guesses so I tell him "The DMV."  He says "Ah, as Dane Cook would say "Satan's Asshole".  They are wrong, appt was at 8:10.....I'm done at 8:21.  AND I even asked an unrelated question and got an answer!  All in all a pleasant experience :)  Maybe I've stepped into Bizaroland.---

When I checked my inbox this morning there were credit card receipts in it.  From the guy that never turns in his receipts.  Despite my  constant nagging and harassing politely asking for them to be turned in as they are accumulated, he usually waits until the statement comes and I tell him I have to have to have them now.  Usually by the time I finally do get them, they are faded, crumpled, and barely legible...well the ones I get, because he ends up losing about 20% of them.  But not today.  He just got back from out of town and low and behold, what is that in my box?  What?  Really?  All of his receipts?  Wow.

Not 15 minute later, a co-worker walks into the office.  This particular co-worker happens to be the owners wife.  She works part-time, part-time.  Which basically means she comes and goes as she pleases.  And it's been even worse lately...it's like part-time, part-time, part-time.  She usually comes in anywhere between 11am and 1pm.
When she walked in my office at 9:05am  I blurted out "It is Bizzaro World!"

I am still trying to remove my foot from my mouth.

And the kicker is I'm DYING to post the rest of it on FB, but I'm FB friends with both of these people so I CAN'T!

I'm kinda liking Bizzaro World.....

Now what am I gonna do?

Dammit.

I just stumbled onto nose picker filling up his water bottle at the cooler.

As you can see from the above picture, the space between the spout that the water comes out of and the bottom of the opening is not very large.  This means you occasionally accidentally touch the spout with the mouth of your bottle to refill it.  I have been doing this for years.  I didn't think anyone else was doing this.  I'm the only one in the office who drinks from a bottle.  OR SO I THOUGHT.  Now that I know I am "sharing" the spout with at least one other person, I find the whole thing rather disgusting. 

I may die from dehydration.

Speed Demon

This morning's mile was run at the track.  A nice soft track.  I did a little speed training.  Around the track one time, stretch for a minute, round the track again, stretch and repeat....8 times.  Average time it took to do the "Oval of Death" about 2 minutes 10 seconds, which would equal an approximate pace for a mile of 8:40.  Ahahahahahaha, I wish!  No way could I keep that pace up 4 times around without stopping.  And to be completely honest, those minute streach breaks stretched out to longer than a minute after the first one.

27 down 24 to go.

Halfway!

26 down, 25 to go, officially half way through.  Since it's Saturday I ran this morning with friends, everything is always easier with friends.  And I think the sun has settled down, not feeling nearly as exhausted as I was.  Not 100% yet, but definitely better. 

Solar Storm?

Could it be the solar storm that is affecting me?  I actually googled "solar storm effects on humans" and came up with a couple of web sites.  They seem a little "out there", but I could easily believe this stuff.  Like why wouldn't it effect humans?  How can something effect the earth's magnetic field, shut down electric grids, destroy transformers, disrupt GPS systems, and kill satellites without affecting humans?

Although my symptoms have been happening for over a week now.  At first I thought I wasn't getting enough sleep (and I still am not going to bed earlier).  Then I thought it's my diet (or lack of a diet)...I'll admit, I've made some bad choices lately....like the burrito I ate yesterday....oh and the donut too.  But solar storm, now that's something I can wrap my head around.  And it takes the pressure right off of me.

One of the sites lists symptoms experienced by people all around the world due to sun flares.....I have practically every symptom.  It must be the storm.  It can't possibly have anything to do with what I'm putting in my body, or how much rest my body is getting.  Definitely the sun.  I must just be super sensitive to it.  Yeah, that's it.

It goes on to explain that the solar flares and photon waves effect us on a cellular level, that we have cellular memory and this energy awakens the memories and helps to clear them.  Says we have low frequency energy stored in our cells from past experiences and traumas that we've experienced but never processed.  The photon energy is of a much higher frequency and it pulls the lower emotional frequency energy to calibrate it with the high frequency, allowing us to release these low frequency memories.

Now here's why I can be apt to believe this crap.  Lately I have had these random thoughts.  Memories of the past.  Not necessarily traumatic or painful.  Just random things that come to mind.  Maybe a conversation I had with someone years ago, or a memory of an experience.  Very random and completely out of the blue.  Every time I have one of these thoughts it is very vivid, and completely unrelated to what I'm doing at the time.  They come from "out of nowhere".  It's been happening for a couple of weeks at least, and every time it happens I think "where did that come from".  This morning after having one of these random memories surface I wondered....is there something I'm supposed to do with these?  Is my subconscious trying to tell me something?

I've been feeling so "worn out" lately.   I've attributed it to not getting enough sleep, but according to this website, this cleansing of my cellular memory, takes a toll on the body and can cause exhaustion.  I've had bad runs before, but not like this.  Usually a run can start out as a struggle, but when I'm done I feel good about it afterwards.  But not lately, they've been struggles, and I'm just glad when it's over with.  But I wonder....could there really be something to this solar storm stuff?  I think I'll make a note of it and see if it happens again next time there's a solar storm (my own clinical study here).....although I'll probably forget about it by next time, cause these flares are effecting my short term memory too (another symptom).

One very tough mile done this morning, #25 done, 26 to go.

24 Down, 27 to go.

The only thing that made it easy doable, this evening, was the fact that I was doing it with friends.

Are we there yet?

Again had to force myself to get up and do the mile this morning.  I'm feeling a little "under the weather", not sick, but just not 100% either....maybe a little run down....from doing this stupid mile thing? 

I seriously thought about packing it in today.....but I'm a little compulsive, and once I start something I usually have to see it to the end.

Mile #23 done, 28 to go. 

Uhg.

Sometimes for some unknown reason some days are just harder than other days.  Today was one of those days.  At least it was a group run, so it made it somewhat easier, but geeze, just not my day.

Mile #22 done, 29 to go.

Flirting with danger

This morning I just didn't want to run.  But I told myself I had to, just get it over with, will be too hard to do it after work.  I strapped my Garmin to my wrist only to discover it was dead.  That was just enough to push me over to the edge.  I'll run after work. 

On my way to work, I thought, I need to be very careful....I could accidentally forget about running, and waste what I've done so far.  I thought about it all day long...don't forget, don't forget, be sure and run, don't forget.  Thought about it the entire way home.  Had to run a couple of errands (and still forgot to get gas dammit), thinking the whole time...must run, don't forget, do it as soon as I get home.

I didn't forget, and I didn't enjoy it.  By the time I started running it was dark.  There were at least 4 times as many cars as the morning, probably more like 10 times.  I was afraid to run too fast, afraid I would trip in the dark.  It was a sucky run all around, but oddly enough, I felt refreshed afterwards.  I don't think I feel as energized after my morning runs.....probably cause I'm always playing beat the clock with them.

Mile #21 done, 30 to go.

Did It!

Mile #20 done in record time, 10:31.  I kind of cheated on this one.  I just wasn't feeling it this morning, and it took awhile for my Garmin to connect.  I ended up walking to the top of the hill and then running down.  Usually I start the run by running up the hill.  This may have made it easier for me.  I don't care, I'm taking it anyway.  Besides, it was hot.


 20 down, 31 to go.

I love Saturday Mornings.

When I was a kid it was soooo hard to get up early every morning for school, but when Saturday rolled around I was up at the crack of dawn for Saturday morning cartoons.

It's kinda like that with running.....so easy on Saturday mornings.  There's never a mental battle.  I know I'm going to run, I know I'm running with friends, I just do it, heck I actually look forward to it.

Easy 8 mile run this morning.  Mile #19 down, 32 to go.

Double Dog Dare

About 50 feet from my front door this morning I'm thinking, "I really don't feel like doing this right now......I could just turn around right now and go back in and run the mile after work".  But that thinking is too dangerous, so I kept right on going and did my mile.  My time.....an unbelievable 10:36 still shy of my best time last year, but amazing to me considering I was considering turning around.

If I continue with these 10+ minute miles I may just try to get down to a 9+ before I am done, but geeze, that would be running really fast, and it's soooo hard for me the first quarter mile.  I usually make up for it in the last quarter.

Mile #18 down, 33 to go.

Now to thing #32.  I managed to pull off another "thing" last night.  Tamara and I went to theater to see "Traces".  It's kind of like a circus act (without the animals).  I enjoyed it.  The performers are amazing athletes and do things I wouldn't think possible if I hadn't seen it myself.

I'm not going to count seeing the show as thing #32,.....it's what I did there that's the thing.

We arrived early and got to our seats.  There was a large screen at the stage.  There was a camera stationed out in the lobby that was broadcasting.  Tamara said she had noticed the camera when we walked by.  As usual I was oblivious to my surroundings and never saw it.  Mostly it was people just walking by, not paying the camera any attention.  Occasionally someone (usually of the younger persuasion) would come up to the camera and "perform". 

I dared Tamara to go out there and do something.  She refused.  I double dog dared her, she still refused.

As it got closer to show time, I decided I would go to the bathroom, there was no intermission and as soon as I know I can't go to the bathroom, I have to go pee. 

Tamara was like:  If you go you have to do something in front of the camera.

Do you double dog dare me?

Yep.

OK then.

You have to point to your eyes and then point to the camera (I'm watching you).

OK

Thing #32, did something silly in front of a camera for the entire theater to witness.

There are no alligators in southern California

Wow, this morning I really didn't want to run.  This was beyond that mental battle I've been having, this was "I REALLY don't want to do this NOW".   But it's now or never, cause I have to work and instead of running with my group tonight I'm going to see "Traces" at the OC Performing Arts Center, so I HAVE to run, like it or not.

I manged to get through it, although I didn't push myself to get under 11 minute mile....but surprised myself with 11:11, figured it would be more like 12 something.

After my mile I have to wait for the light to cross the street.  As I'm approaching the corner I hear a weird sound coming from the storm drain.  My mental dialogue goes something like this "Wonder what that is.  Alligators in the sewers.  I'm too tired to even look."  I cross to the east side of the street, but I still have to wait for the light to cross to the north.  This light usually takes a while (thanks to synchronized lights which by the way I love).  I'm standing at the corner thinking "I should have looked.  It's gonna bug me all day wondering what's in there.  No way is it an alligator, but what if it's a small animal, like a kitty, or a bunny.  What if it dies in there cause I'm too tired to check."  So I cross back and cautiously approach. 

I can't see anything through the grate.  I listen carefully. 

To the sound of water trickling into the storm drain. 

Sure sounded like an alligator flapping it's tail around when I was breathing hard and my heart was pounding right after my mile.

Mystery solved I am free to go on with my day.

Mile #17 done 34 to go.

Baby it's cold outside

One of those mornings where I'm thinking..."Why am I doing this?  I don't have to do this, I could stop if I wanted to.  But dammit I've been posting it on the blog so I'm committed."

Cold enough to wear gloves and my fingers were still freezing.  Wore a scarf to keep my neck and chest warm, by the last quarter mile I'm ripping that scarf away, while my fingers are still freezing.

Mile #16 done in 10:57, still under 11 minutes, 35 to go hmmmmm....wouldn't it be nice to be 35 again?  With all the knowledge that I have now.....

Running and Chatting

So easy to run with friends.

Mile #15 done, 36 to go

10:34 Gangstas!!!

Yep, this morning's mile done in 10:34, only 2 seconds shy of my best time last year.

14 down 37 to go.

I'm gonna say it again.....

What a difference a year makes.

Last year I ran the Brea 8K and battled my attitude the entire race.  This year I ran it and attitude was not a problem.  I think I have the "Gratitude Journal" to thank for this.  January 1st I started "A Year of Gratitude".  I write about something that I'm thankful for.  Usually it's simple things, like the sun warming me on a cold morning, how the dogs will do something cute and it makes me smile, or how I see fire in the sky during a sunset.

In the beginning I would write about the thing I was thankful for, but also wanted to write about the stuff that bugged me that day too.  But I couldn't write about what bothered me.  It's a Gratitude journal and I have to keep it pristine and only write about things I'm thankful for.   When I decided to do the journal, I didn't realize it was going to affect how I view things through out the day.  Because I know I can't write about the stuff that bugs me, I don't really allow myself to focus on the the annoying stuff.  Instead I find myself throughout the day looking for the stuff that I am thankful for.

And now to mile #13.  I think I'll count the last mile of the 8K as my mile for the day.  Thought seriously about counting the first mile, cause I totally rocked it.  But the last mile, that was the one I enjoyed the most.  I ran with Tamara, she was struggling for a few miles.  She's suffering from tendonites in her ankles and that's affecting her knees, hips, ect. (sing it "the foot bones connected to the shin bone").  We started doing some easy intervals on the Kramer downhill, and were able to keep with the intervals to the finish.

Was a good race.  We didn't break any records, but had a good run, and some good food afterwards.

Oh, and thing #31, ran a race with Tamara :)

Whoo Hooo!

Broke the 11 minute mile!

And I only had to battle my mind about 30% of it....imagine what I could do if there was no battle.

Mile #12 done in 10:49......... 39 to go.