Friday, September 16, 2011

What Is Wrong With This Toilet Paper?

My poor neglected an old abandoned diary.

Ok, enough groveling, Blogger doesn't care how often I post.  It will be here, patiently waiting for me to return.

I have neglected blogging, but I haven't neglected running.  Last night's run was 4.94 miles.  We were running at the trail, I stopped half way through the run to use the restroom (hard to run when you gotta pee).  It's a park bathroom, there are no stalls, it's a one person room.  I had to wait for another runner, when she came out she held the door open for me and said "It's dark in there".  She was right, it was dark in there, I looked for the light switch, all I saw was a flat plate, no little toggle switch for me to flip up and "let there be light".  No worries, I've peed in the dark before.  Because it's dark I can't really see if the seat is clean or not....and there isn't a paper seat protector in sight, so hover I will.  As I try to unroll some toilet paper, nothing comes off the roll, it just spins around and I can't find an's dark, I'm hovering, and the TP roll is just spinning and spinning.  I try spinning it the other way, where's the end?  over or under?  It's too dark to see.  I keep trying to pinch it to get it to separate from the roll.  All I manage to do is pinch a little piece off, over and over again, I end up with confetti TP.   I still can't see where the end of it is.  I try digging my fingernail across the roll to rip it into submission.  I pull at the liberated edge, and still end up with confetti!  WTF?  My legs begin to cramp from hovering so long. The TP wins, I will use the confetti.

Quick wash of the hands, there isn't a paper towel present to dry my hands on, unlock the door, push it open and it doesn't budge.  Hmmm....flip the lock again, push, and still won't open.  What kind of hell hole is this and how do I get out of it?  Flip the lock again, push, flip it the other way, push, why isn't it opening?  I push with my entire body (trying not to touch too much of my body with the door, cause you know, it's dark and I don't know how clean the door is) and still it doesn't give.  WTF?


Maybe I need to pull.

I exit with my head down, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone who might of heard me struggling to escape.  At least I didn't start screaming "Help, help, get me outta here". 

Time to long in the miles.  Since my last calculations I've logged in 72.02 miles, add those to the previous 60.49 for a total of 132.51, leaves a balance for my 1,000 mile journey of 867.49.

Disclaimer:  Triple Dipping Ahead

3.1 of those miles are race mile.  for a total tally of 40.46, with 9.54 race miles left to run, piece of cake!  This race was at Wild Rivers Water Park in Irvine.  Here's the triple dip....I was not officially registered for this race, I used a friend's bib.  Thing #21, ran a race without being officially registered.  I was averaging under a 12 minute mile for most of the race.  Towards the end you get to run/wade in the lazy lagoon.  Was nice and refreshing, but hard to run in, it really messed with my time, but was definitely a fun run.  Best part was hanging out with running buddies afterwards.

Tally of race miles completed: 40.46, with 9.54 race miles left to run, piece of cake!  


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