Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Winged Goddess of Victory?

In October Nike hosts the "Nike Women's Half Marathon" in San Francisco.  It's a popular race, there are always more people who want to run than the course will allow.  So registration is done on a "lottery" basis.  Basically you sign up, but do not know if you have actually gotten in until several days after registration closes.  Personally I prefer the "first come, first serve" basis (FCFS), those who are truly dedicated can sit poised at their keyboards at precisely the moment registration opens and she who clicks first wins. 

One of the features of this particular race is that the medal you receive at the finish line is a special Tiffany necklace.......

Presented by:

 Hot Tuxedo Clad Firemen:
Yummy! Nomnomnom...

How can any respectable woman resist?  Rumor has it if you sign up as a team you increase your chance in the lottery because if one team member is chosen, you all are automatically in.  So someone became the Team Captain, hereto referred to as TC.  TC registered the team and received a "Team Number".  That didn't mean we were in.....yet.  Next step was during the open registration window April 11 thru April 22, all team members had to go online and register noting the team number during registration.  TC sent us all an email on 4/11 reminding us registration was now open.  Note that TC was vacationing in Hawaii at the time, but was so dedicated to the cause that she sent an email from the beach while drinking a mai tai....or pina colada...or some other exotic with me here.

Diligently we immediately started registering.  Besides the usual questions like name, age, credit card number, Nike also wanted to know occupation, number of children, marital status, etc, these questions were optional, and since I'm always on the prowl for marketing ploys, I chose not to answer opposed to what I do sometimes when asked these intrusive marketing questions.....give ridiculous answers, like I make a million dollars, I have 10 children, yes they all still live at home, I drive a smart car, yes even on the freeway, etc....just my way of  skewing the information so we don't all become the prey of fat cat corporate moguls.  You can thank me later. 

The most important part in the registration process was that we needed to enter the team number that TC had secured for us.  She said Nike suggests you copy and paste the number so as not to make a mistake.  I typed the number....and then I checked it,...again....and again, yep, it's right.....but if it's not right I may not get in, but the others will.....or worse.....everyone else doesn't get in and I do cause I put the wrong number.  OK ALREADY!  I'll copy and paste, there!  A total 37 of us registered.  And then the waiting began.....fingers crossed.

This morning I received an email from Nike Women's Marathon that started:  "The Winged Goddess of Victory has spoken".  My heart started to go pitter pat....VICTORY!  We're in!  Then it said something like of the 30,000+ entries we've drawn the names of the lucky women....WOOO HOOOO!!!!  LUCKY US! WE ARE IN!.....keep reading....."unfortunately"....huh?  Winged Goddess of Victory?  Unfortunately?  What?  I must have read it wrong...."Unfortunately, your name was not one of them".  WHAT?  WHY? would "The Winged Goddess of Victory" send me a rejection letter?

Picture this:  Last week, Nike headquarters (wherever that is, I'm too depressed to even google it...let's say down town New York), a glass enclosed conference room.  The room is filled with high powered Nike executives.  They are just firming up the details of the San Francisco run.  At the head of the table is a smartly dressed, designer clad, beautiful woman...hereto referred to as Ms. Biatch or MB.  MB is the mother of two young children who at this very moment are home being raised by their nanny au pair in upper east side Manhattan.  MB paid tens of thousands of dollars to surrogates so as not to risk contamination of her svelte figure. She spends about 15 minutes in the evening with her children.  Her husband is cheating on her.

MB says to send an email to all runners who made it in.....and let's say "The Winged Goddess of Victory" has spoken and they are in!  Someone asks what should we do with the runners who did not make it in?  MB says send them the same basic email but tweak it telling them unfortunately their name was not chosen. 

Penny (her real name is Penelope, but everyone calls her Penny despite her objections), a rather plain looking secretary who could benefit from a make over, and couldn't afford a designer hand bag much less the outfit MB is wearing,  is present to take notes.  Penny looks up....should she say something?  She asks quietly, "Do you think it's appropriate to send those who didn't get in an email saying "The Winged Goddess of Victory" has spoken?

A hush falls on the room.  You could cut the air with a knife, ....hell you'd need a machete.  MB turns to Penny and says "Just Do It (insert swoosh").

Gads....what if we didn't get in because I chose not to answer the survey questions??????

No comments:

Post a Comment